Photo by 宋盼 (interviewee not pictured)
Note from Kuang:
我无意中发现了胡同里的一家小店，店面没有显眼的招牌，门脸也很小，不大引人注意。店面虽小，但是里面整洁清爽，卖的馄饨个大皮薄，特别好吃。我有时候会特意骑自行车过去吃他们的虾仁馄饨，多去了几次，也就慢慢成了熟客，每次店里工作的姑娘都会从厨房走出来笑着打招呼。
I came across a small restaurant hidden in a hutong near Dongsi. With a small storefront and no sign that would catch your eye, it’s the kind of place you could walk right by without noticing. They sell delicious wontons with thin skin and juicy filling. Now that I’ve gone a few times, the girl working there greets me warmly every time I show up.
Wei Qingqing, female, 21 years old, from Sichuan, waitress
I wasn’t originally named Wei Qingqing. My original name happened to be the same as someone else in our village. According to local custom, having the same name is inauspicious, so I changed my name after primary school.
Our house is right next to a mountain, which was a playground for me and my friends growing up. We spent most of the time exploring the mountain and climbing trees. We countryside kids are born for that sort of thing.
There were only four grades in our village’s primary school, instead of the normal six, with not even 100 students. Most of the kids went to school in the cities where their parents worked. Not that many remained behind. There were only four teachers, each one in charge of all the courses for one grade.
From fifth grade, I had to attend school in the county city, which was nearly two hours on foot and over 30 minutes by bus. So I lived in the school in a shared dorm room with another seven students, and only went home once a week. Every week, my parents gave me a few dozen kuai for food.
I’ve always been pretty introverted. But I wasn’t a lazy student, I used to take the initiative and do my homework first thing when I got home from school. I wish I could tell you that I studied well, but I didn’t. I wasn’t particularly good at any subjects, only my Chinese was slightly above average. I liked reciting Tang poems and Song lyrics, and I seemed to get the meaning almost instantly as I read them. But when we had to learn physics, it was a complete disaster for me.
You might say my scores in junior middle school remained like my personality, pretty timid. When we were approaching the end of the first semester of the last school year, I knew my chance of scoring high enough for senior high school was next to nothing, so I made up my mind to quit.
I still remember the day when I left school. My family came to help me pack my belongings. I was in such a rush to leave that I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to my classmates. That regret has stayed with me until today.
After that I lost contact with most of my classmates. I’ve tried dialing the phone numbers they left in my school yearbook, but the numbers either go unanswered or don’t work anymore. I assume most of them are now far away from home earning a living, just like me. Some of them might have gotten married. People tend to get married at a young age back home.
I wasn’t even 16 when I left school. I came to Beijing to join my uncle, who’s been here for over 20 years and owns a small barbershop in this hutong. He later rented this place to run as a wonton restaurant. That’s when he asked my dad’s permission to have me work for him.
When I first came here, I didn’t know how to cook but only helped do some small tasks like washing and cutting the vegetables. Then after a while I slowly learnt to cook. My uncle can’t afford to hire a second worker, so I’m the only one here working full shifts. Though both the barbershop and this restaurant are rather small, the rent together is over 10,000 per month, utilities not included.
Every month, my uncle puts my salary on a card that is sent directly to my parents. I’ve never asked how much my salary is, a lot or a little, I don’t care. My younger brother is in his last year of senior high. He’s a much better student than me. His school has all sorts of fees, so it’s good that my salary can support him.
Nearly five years have slipped by since I came here, but I still don’t know Beijing well at all. I rarely go out except to join my uncle and aunt for a walk sometimes. When I’m not working, I usually stay in my apartment, watching some TV shows or chatting with my family on video calls.
It’s not like I have that much time to kill anyway. The restaurant opens from 9 am to midnight. I’ve gotten used to working long hours. I don’t think it’s hard work, and I’d rather be kept busy than feel bad doing nothing. When things are busy, I need to cook over 100 bowls of wontons in one day.
I’ve never had much good conversation with customers either. Most of them are migrants working nearby. They come here to fill their stomachs and leave in a hurry.
Because of the pandemic, there have been fewer customers recently, business is not good. The restaurant might not survive the year. I’m not sure what’s next for me. My parents still live in our village, growing and selling vegetables to get by. Our land is big and they grow all kinds. I might go back and farm with them. Who knows.
For me, it doesn’t matter where I end up. I’m pretty relaxed about life. Nothing has ever bothered me that much. Occasionally I feel a little down, but then I just get over it.
What is the meaning of life? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself this question before. Does life have to be meaningful?
Edited by David Huntington
魏清清，女，21岁，四川人，餐馆服务员
我原本不叫这个名字，之前的名字跟同村的一个人重名，按当地的习俗，出现重名不吉利，我上小学之后就把名字改了。
我家屋后就是山，小时候从来不愁没地方玩，爬山爬树，都是我们农村孩子的拿手好戏。
我们村里的小学只有一到四年级，四个年级加起来不到一百个人。很多村里的孩子跟着到父母打工的地方上学，留在在村里读书的不多。学校老师也少，一个年级就一个老师，语文数学科学，所有科目都由一个老师教。
从五年级开始，我们就要去县城上学。我们村离县城走路要将近两个小时，坐大巴也要半个多小时，我只能住校，八人一个宿舍，一星期回家一次，家里每星期给几十块钱当生活费。
我从小性格就比较沉闷，话不多，学习上倒是挺自觉的，回家第一件事就是先做作业。不过我学习从来谈不上好，只有语文还不错。我喜欢语文，那些唐诗宋词，我好像一读就能理解其中的意思。但是我其他科目不行，尤其是物理，简直是一窍不通。
到了初中我成绩还是跟我的性格一样，不温不火的。读完初三上学期，我心里清楚自己考高中大概没戏，决定下学期直接不念了。
我还记得离开学校那天，家人来帮我搬被子和书，我收拾好东西，匆匆忙忙地跟着家人走了，没来得及跟同学告别，这一直成为我心里的一个遗憾。
我跟大部分初中同学后来就失去了联系。我试着打过有些人留在我同学录上的号码，要么打不通要么直接是空号。他们应该大多都出去打工了，也许有不少已经结婚了吧，我们那边结婚普遍都比较早。
离开学校，我还不到16岁，就跟我叔叔来了北京。我叔叔在这二十多年，一直在这胡同里经营着一家小理发店，后来开了这个馄饨店，他两边顾不过来，就跟我爸说让我过来帮忙。
我刚来的时候，不会做吃的，只能帮忙洗菜切菜干些杂活，后来看得多了，也就慢慢学会了。店里花不起钱多雇人，只有我，没人跟我轮班。我叔叔的理发店，加上这个馄饨店，虽然地方不大，一个月的租金要一万多，水电费还得另交。
我叔叔也给我开工资，每个月他直接打到一张卡上，寄给我父母，我从来没问过是多少，钱多钱少我没那么在乎。我弟弟在读高三，学校的各种费用也不少，他学习比我好，刚好把钱寄回去供他上学。
来北京一晃五年多了，我对这里还很不熟悉，平时很少出门，偶尔跟叔叔婶婶一块出去走走。不在店里干活的时候，我就在住的地方，用手机看看电视剧，跟家人视频。
反正我本来也就没那么多空闲时间，店里早上九点开门，一直到晚上十二点。我习惯了，不觉得辛苦，没事做反而闲得难受。忙的时候，我一天下来要煮一百多碗馄饨。
平时在店里也从来没跟客人有过太多的交流，大部分客人都是附近干活的，来店里就是为了填饱肚子，吃完就急匆匆走了。
因为疫情，来吃饭的人比之前少了很多，生意不好，店也许明年就不开了，是回四川还是接着在北京，我暂时也不确定。我父母一直在农村老家，靠种菜卖钱，我们家地多，什么蔬菜都种，我回去跟他们一起种菜也行。
反正在哪都可以，我凡事比较看得开，偶尔心情不好，一下子就过去了，我从小就这样。
人生有什么意义？我不知道。我好像还从来没考虑过这个问题。人生一定要有意义吗？
Kuang is the founder of Beijing Lights. She would love to hear your thoughts about the column and is open to new collaborations. She can be reached at kuang@spittooncollective.com.